The Protocols of Sheehan: A Dispatch From the Conspiracy Frontlines

When the news broke late Sunday night that Osama Bin Laden had been killed in his compound outside the Pakistani city of Abbottabad, my first thought wasn't to crack open a beer, pump my fist, or drive around the neighborhood honking the car horn, although it seems as if others acted on such impulses. There wasn't even the sense of relief, joy, or exultation that others have reported via social media tools, although I certainly didn't light any candles in mourning. A decade after the September atrocities, it proved difficult to channel the rage and horror of that day into a jubilant 420-character update on Facebook. As details were added to the breaking news, others continually added their thoughts, and while all were certainly heartfelt, I felt at times like a dispassionate observer watching an after-game celebration victory for a team I knew nothing about.

This is not to suggest I've followed the advice of the religious leaders who have urged followers to remember the soul and humanity of any deceased being, or that I begrudge people for expressing their emotions upon news that is certainly welcome. It's just that the death of Osama Bin Laden - and his actions, philosophy, place in history, and influence - seems a very different thing from the Patriots being crushed in the Super Bowl or some loudmouth going down in the seventh round courtesy of Manny Pacquiao. These sports metaphors are not chosen lightly - much of the news coverage featured on all forms of media have highlighted crowds of people chanting "USA! USA! USA!" in classic championship victory mode. To be sure, our "team" has scored a decisive, even surprising, victory. But the deaths in Manhattan and Washington in 2001, along with the two wars we've sustained since, have pushed any conception of Osama Bin Laden as an opponent beyond the realm of loss or victory. His entire pathetic earthly existence was a major loss to the human race.

But there's no need to dwell on the comments and observations I've combed through over the past day, from paid columnists to regular folks with iPhones, even though some offer surprising insights into the many facets of the ongoing War On Terror. I will skip over the numerous "Osama Bin Shot In" drops, the doggerel offered up by aspiring poets, the religious dogma mixed with references to burning hell fires, the swipes at Donald Trump. For while some are disturbed by images of jubilant people waving flags in celebration of the death of a terrorist, it's difficult to condemn the release of such honest feelings, even if I have no desire to join in. The passing of a tyrant always leads to celebration. Bin Laden's acts slashed a deep scar across the American psyche, and even the most dispassionate of observers should find it difficult to deny some sense of closure, finality, justice - however incomplete, however simplistic. It's right to be wary of jingoism and bloodlust. But it's also right to be wary of those who place the late Bin Laden on the same moral scale as themselves or others. In any case, my sense of justice and proper retribution wasn't challenged by Sunday's actions. Life is too short, and too cruel, and tyrants abound.

Far more fascinating are the opinions of those occupying the opposite spectrum of Team USA cheerleaders - the conspiracy theorists who have parlayed their skepticism of authority and an eye for political spin into the dizzying web of lies that is the bread and butter of all those who seek An Answer to the evils and abuses of the world. Lately, the conspiracy tent has been dominated by the shrill voices of those who would question our current president's place of birth - a movement dominated not by the rational types of various political backgrounds who have raised legitimate concerns over the Obama administration's lack of transparency, but by those who truly believe Barack Hussein Obama to be an African-born, Indonesian-raised, Muslim non-American. The implications of such charges are worthy of a separate column. There's much to be said on the question of whether the entire Birther movement owes its mainstream success to racist suppositions of who is or is not a "true" American, just as much could be said about Obama's less-than-forthcoming behavior and the complicity of the press in offering up a half-assed vetting of the candidate during the last presidential election. But while there is little doubt voices on the right will soon apply the lessons of the Birthers to this latest score in the War On Terror, it's the left-leaning remnants of the Truthers who have so far taken the lead in questioning the official line on the death of Osama Bin Laden.

Truthers, one must recall, coalesced around widespread concerns that key details of 9/11 were being ignored, glossed over, manipulated, or denied. Few of my acquaintances were pleased by or satisfied with the official findings of the 9/11 Commission, myself included, although I don't recall anybody seriously claiming any great conspiracy was underfoot, save for a friend beholden to the thoughts of David Ickes and his reptilian bloodline meta-theory. When the first traces of graffiti declaring 9/11 to be an inside job began making their mark on the streets of Albany and later San Diego, I greeted them with the sneering contempt I thought they deserved. The rumors linking George W. Bush to the attacks - as either mastermind or witting accomplice - were beneath the discourse of rational beings. The anti-Semitic undertones to the fevered scribblings of "Big Picture" theorists seemed obvious to anybody capable of nuance. When I had the misfortune to share a three-hour train ride from Los Angeles to San Diego with a rather messianic Truther, my disdain for the movement became complete. Surprised to discover somebody both tangentially involved with the military and relatively unsympathetic to the Iraqi incursion, she blathered on about Building 7 and iron-rich spheres, Israel and NORAD stand-down orders, Operation Northwoods and Pax Americana. By the time she insistently pushed burned DVD-ROMS of speeches by David Ray Griffin and performances by the Dixie Chicks into my hands (I warned her it was very unlikely I'd get around to watching either), I had long since concluded anybody even slightly sympathetic with the Truther cause was not one I wished to share close quarters with. In point of fact, I'd taken my stance about the time she related to me, lip quivering and tears oozing from her eyes, that she'd "successfully channelled" the life spirit of an Iraqi schoolgirl during a sit-in protest at an Orange County mall.

I was unaware until recently that one prominent leftist keeping alive the Truther bonfire was Cindy Sheehan, the mother of fallen soldier Casey Sheehan and a prominent critic of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Sheehan's presence in the anti-war movement was undeniable and, at times, even inspiring, making concrete the grief and concern many had for the reckless actions propelling forward our presence in the Middle East and serving as a welcome counterweight to the gung-ho image of the military and their families favored by many who cheered on the offensive while never once considering making a sacrifice more demanding than waving a flag during community parades. When David Letterman slammed guest Bill O'Reilly for his attacks on Sheehan, the liberal community could be sensed nodding as one - how dare anyone be callow enough to impugn cries for peace by a grieving mother?

I nodded along, and still hold that Letterman the stealth-liberal does us much good. And yet, several years removed, it's difficult not to agree slightly with the odious Mr. O'Reilly that Cindy Sheehan is, among other things but perhaps foremost, a colossal ignoramus of the highest order - a cartoon rendering of leftist sympathies, an overbearing and hackneyed town crier dedicated to any issue so long as they chip away at the edges of weakly-defined hegemony, and a hectoring enabler to the weakest impulses of the progressive cause to which I am such a proud contributing member. Right, Sheehan and I may fight the same sort of fight. But it's hardly traitorous to reject outright paranoia, or conclude any movement would be better off without lightweights carrying bullhorns.

Perhaps you'd thought Cindy Sheehan had shuffled offstage to undertake some other form of public therapy. Perhaps, like me, you'd hoped she found some kind of peace or closure for the senseless death of her son. Perhaps you'd simply forgotten about her. But a fortuitous link led me to the temple of irrationality that is Sheehan's Facebook page, an enterprise that has attracted nearly 5,000 "friends," surprisingly few of whom are mockers or contrarians. Blessed with a piercing artistic rendering by Rob Shetterly, whose Americans Who Tell The Truth series is much-admired in this house, Sheehan's profile showcases the expected Thoreau quotations and links to Israel Kamakawiwo'ol album tracks, along with daily updates of a feisty nature from a truth-speaker.

And what truth might one glean from befriending Cindy Sheehan? Most recently, one might peer into the smoky logic extending from Trutherism into what has been clumsily dubbed "Deatherism" - namely, that Osama Bin Laden was decidedly not killed in a firefight in Pakistan nor buried at sea, but has either already been killed or remains on the loose, and has been inserted as a pawn into a game controlled by the steady hands of.....well, insert stock villain here, but if they are Jewish and perhaps embedded within the media you'll collect at least Marvin Gardens and perhaps even score Free Parking. Three posts from Sheehan regarding the death of Osama Bin Laden leave little confusion of her stance on the issue - one doesn't kick off festivities by declaring "if you believe the newest death of OBL, you are stupid" if you haven't already declared war on nuance, and one doesn't routinely fall back on the colloquialism "Duh-merican sheeple" to describe anybody who disagrees with your prophecies if one is opening the door to a wider debate. To glance through Sheehan's brief thoughts and the many comments of her acolytes is to glance unhindered into the inky black depths of grape kool-aid thought - kool-aid tendencies that can easily stain any earnest individual open-minded enough to periodically lose track of their brains.

The kool-aid analogy is consciously chosen - it's the preferred metaphor within the Truther crowd. To offer any sort of push back to even the most outlandish claims of global conspiracy - to even raise the possibility that worshiping at the altar of conspiracy introduces as many complicated objections as any worship at any altar - is to steady oneself against the accusation of playing the lead role of Jim Jones in the Guyana pageant that is American consciousness. One foolishly thoughtful individual suggested as much when he dared to venture his opinion that Sheehan's mission had shifted over the past few years and that he was uncomfortable with the dictum that "Jews cause all the problems". The response was swift - (and I do quote, typos and all, seeing how misspellings are one unifying factor among Internet cranks, and please note the only word chosen for proper capitalization out of a possible four) "ok so got watch cnn more exciting there I am sure".

Spend a few painful minutes perusing the fever dreams of Sheehan and her acolytes, and one will go away with far greater insights than simply the ease with which one may dispatch Doubting Thomases as "fuckwads" (a favorite epithet of the thesaurus-deprived matron). One will correctly begin to view the supposed violent death of Osama Bin Laden as yet another etching in the grand art project that is the "Lying Murderous Empire"- a fabrication swallowed whole by the "sheeple" as easily as they swallowed the 1969 moon landing and the hijacking of American Airlines Flight 77. One reads of the many lies of DNA testing, of World Trade Center steel shanghaied to China, of machinations to target Syria for annihilation, of Al Qaeda in Venezuela, Facebook clandestinely seizing user-uploaded activist photographs of the Vigil For The Wood Carver. One paws through claims of American assassins blowing up Benazir Bhutto, knowing references to George Soros and the House of Rothschild, and attacks against Army wives. One wide-eyed commenter opens and closes every post with a full caps FOR THE LOVE OF WAR tag. Another compares Bin Laden to nuclear power, while another suggests details don't matter as we're all fated to die from breathing in carbon fuel.. Yet another continually references The Matrix. I counted several involved explanations of how this "obvious" hoax was purposefully designed to be clumsy and easily uncovered, thus blinding many to other, more sinister and more expertly assembled, hoaxes - a conspiracy conspiracy, if you will. Several confuse or mistype "Osama" and "Obama". Others simply kiss the feet of their appointed idol - "You are a voice of sanity in these end times" -- "I love you Cindy!!!!!" -- "My favorite thing about Cindy is how each day she gives us more reasons to love her!"

Since we're trafficking in rabid overstatement here, can I just point out that what springs to my mind when reading the last three encomiums is the hero worship accorded to the likes of Kim Jong-Il? If you think my analogy too heavy handed, why not point out that the very title of this blog essay alludes to the most notorious example of fraudulent text impacting global hatred and even genocide. This analogy was not chosen lightly. Part and parcel of the Truther movement - and thus part and parcel of Cindy Sheehan and her many followers - is a covert and at times overt anti-Semitic narrative that poisons all it touches. Investigate into any manner of conspiracy theory, and anti-Semitism will likely soon rear its ugly head. This is no identity politics claim or Zionist assumption. Suspicion of Jewish control is central to nearly any coherent theory of global conspiracy, and its toxicity blankets as many figures on the hard left as it does the hard right. I've always suspected that conspiracy theories serve as a corrective to those bemoaning the loss of the orderly hand of the almighty - that those fallen from faith find a chilling solace in assigning the chaos of the world to unseen hands, a malign rather than benign presence, but a defined presence nonetheless. It's an understandable impulse. How much easier is it to accept cruelty and abuse when one knows it springs from the hands of an individual rather than the empty whirl of chance? What are conspiracy theorists but the ultimate believers?

So take a peek at the below highlighted examples of discourse from the Sheehan flock. When all is said and done, they've certainly imperiled less lives than either Bin Laden or the Military Industrial Complex. But declaring their flailing antics harmless is to suggest you reject logic itself as one of our many available weapons of peace.

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Discussion Thread #1 : Reasonable Doubt Concerning Reported Death

Sheehan : I am sorry, but if you believe the newest death of OBL, you're stupid. Just think to yourself--they paraded Saddam's dead sons around to prove they were dead--why do you suppose they hastily buried this version of OBL at sea? This lying, murderous Empire can only exist with your brainwashed consent--just put your flags away and THINK!

Sheehan : but since I don't believe it, I am "bitter".

Sadly, plenty of sheeple are swallowing this. My realtime friends all think I'm mad. 3 even told me to watch the news....

Sheehan: where did they get OBL's DNA to prove it in the first place? Do they have a database of terrorist DNA?

The bigger the lie, the more people will believe it!

Osama had died or been killed 3 times already......confirmed by the CIA and FBI each time!

Such common sense, Cindy.......and my thought is that surely another country would have taken care of his body if they had been aware....

I am speechless how the people after what we have been through are not critically thinking and swallowing this obvious Propaganda without a question. so sad what has been done to weaken the minds of the people that they open their arms to Fascist Totalitarianism amd embrace it. The sickness of Authoritarianism...do not question authority, believe, with blind faith.

American philosophy is still a testesteron filled game cock attitude.

Who has the most to gain from the actions and distractions of the past years? The events of September 11th, the destruction of the Constitution, Bill of Rights, attack on civil liberties, implementation of a Police State, Disaster Capitalism, etc? Who has the most to gain, and who, in fact, has undoubtedly done so, but the military/industrial complex?? Who has the most to gain from this policy of "endless war" but the military industrial complex?

Exactly. People are fucking morons who will swallow just about anything. So gullible.

let us watch and listen closely to the upcoming events and what exactly was the mechanics and strategy of this fake raid and killing of Obama, just at this time. You know it's big.

Cindy, when are going you back on Alex Jones? You can compare evidence. [note: self-described "paleoconservative" radio talk show host, conspiracy theorist, filmmaker]

Sheehan : Thanks - I guess you believe the lies? How's your flag doing?

Two letters of what I think about all of this - BS! It's just a PR stunt to get people ralied up for the pig push on Libya.

using CRITICAL thinking...it is horrifying the blind faith in the Gov controlled media and our nefarious leadership. So sad that these people are conditioned to believe anything the so-called "Authorities" feed them. Dangerous as well. Welcome to Fascism.

Ι love you, Cindy!!!!!

I question that also Cindy, it could b part of the DECEPTION, WHO WILL BELIEVE THE LIE. There is a election coming up and they r trying 2 get there ducks n a row.

Sheehan : they can swallow the bs story because Obama gave it to them - never would have believe the same story from Bush - that's why OBL didn't die again when Bush was prez. divide and distract.

OK so the entire political and media structure is pulling the society by the nose to look at a single dead man (who has probably been dead for 10 years)... so now what are they gearing up to do? More war as Alex Jones says? These efforts don't get wasted on simply "informing" the dumbed down masses. There is a real social engineering goal behind all this.

Cindy, I guess we will never get Osama's body. According to this CNN story, he was buried at sea even though the sea was 1000 miles from the killing. Amazing! And people are sucking this shit up like it is true. Hello, ever watch a cop show? You need a body to declare a homicide first.

Remember the three Kenndy's limo into the sea and sent the steel of the World Trade Center to China?

Sheehan : [note: lengthy unanswered exchange with no particular direction follows] I don't even know what the fuck Alex Jones is saying, Lawrence--if you notice, I don't even go on his show anymore and haven't for years. I guess I am not capable of having my own thoughts. I must be listening to Alex Jones.

Sheehan : Some men are so arrogant--if I have a thought that is against someone who is on the right--Michael Moore is telling me what to say--if I have a thought that is contrary to what someone on the left is saying, then Alex Jones is telling me what to say.

Sheehan : Fuckwads

Sheehan : It's good that I have Alex Jones and Michael Moore, because then I don't have to think--I can just tune into them and regurgitate their propaganda. It's hard to think--it gives me a headache.

Sheehan : It's also easier just to swallow the lies of the Empire like Monica Lewinsky swallowed Clinton's sperm. It works for me.

People right now is the time to beware of falseflag terrorism because after Libya the neocons and thier partners in crime Obama admin have Syria and Iran in thier sites. OBL's socalled death is not only a BS impression but it is a tactical trick to provoke 'terrorist' (falseflag) acts to convince public to target Syria!

The matrix for real! Don't believe the hype!

They didn't have to kill him-they could of knocked everyone out with gas or dart guns for that matter-it's all a big LIE! That's all we've been getting for years now. Seems like a LIE to set us up for the NEXT False attack from whatever area they want to invade next! Pakistan? Iran? Saudi Arabia? Really no one is safe from the Empire, especially if you're sitting remotely close to the world's last remaining oil reserves. Who knows? Maybe Al Qaeda all moved to Venezuela...

Just like 911 they got rid of the evidence.

FOR THE LOVE OF WAR It is the tradition of Navy Seal Team Six to intern their commandos at sea. Just because he was the target for this operation dose not take away the fact that he fought side by side with with Seal Team Six against the Russians. FOR THE LOVE OF WAR.

There is a video of Forest Gump shaking hands with JFK.

The beauty of making his death look suspicious is that it maintains the pretext of imperial violence by creating enough conspiracy theorists to waste time on conspiracy theories. Rome didn't use conspiracy, the English or Spanish empires didn't use them. And neither do we. What we have is an empire and a massive monopoly of state violence. And Bin Laden or any other pretext is nothing more than a marketing ploy. It wouldn't matter if they killed him, and it doesn't matter if he's alive. What does matter is not wasting time focusing on the details of endlessly doubting via conspiratorial discussion.

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Discussion Thread #2 : One Death Does Not Disrupt A Larger Movement

Sheehan: I am going to go take a walk in the wonderful sunshine--now that OBL is dead, I feel safe and the birds are singing and the nuclear disaster is over; our oceans are clean and wars have ended. This is the Dawning of The Age of Aquarius. Let the Sunshine! (We can use our plastic sheeting and duct tape now for painting our kitchens). I know! LET'S GO SHOPPING!!!

can't go shopping....might miss Dancing with the Douchebags.....

Right on.....it's kabuki theater

i spent all my money on flags

Sheehan : we live in a fucking ridiculous era.

Loool...Miss Cindy plz keep these status updates coming...You are a voice of sanity in these endtimes....May God bless you.Thank u for speaking the truth like it is.

FB took all my photos of Big Mountain, Vigil for the Wood Carver shot by cop, Women In Black Vigils - all my most important activist photos are gone. Don't trust FB anyway, but people are protesting in UK about FB wiping out activist work.

oh the military wives will love that!!! muahaaaa...slaughter=payday=SHOPPING at the mall!!! Muahaaaa Oh look kids!! Daddy killed some bad guys grandchildren and now he will get paid and we can go SHOPPING!!!! yippeee!!!

My favorite thing about Cindy is how each day she gives us more reasons to love her!

Brilliant status post Cindy! I got some good belly laughs out of it ....thanks!

News stories are scatted in time. Some say he's been dead for 10 yrs now, others say it was just days. But the Buishes and OBL were BOTH heavily invested in OPEC. In reality no matter what they say, burning fossil-fuels is going to kill us all. Whether it be from just breathing engine exhaust or from from wars over religion, our demise is going to be because of the money that fossil-fuels create.

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Discussion Thread #3 : Unfair Application of Labels and The Demise of Journalism

Sheehan: I guess I am a deather--and now the "news" is getting their "news" items from Facebook, because this is the only place I have ever said anything about this newest fraud perpetrated on the gullible Duh-merican sheeple.

bin Laden not wanted for WTC because Israel did it.

I underestimated the stupidity, denial, and delusional potential of duh-mericans!

Back a few years ago your cause was admirable and sane, and I joined you. Now, you are all a big bore. Right, Osama has been dead. Right, the Jews cause all the problems. Sounds familiar somehow....

ok so got watch cnn more exciting there I am sure

Osama bin Laden and Obama bin Lyin; the only difference between these terrorists is the number of innocent people killed. The winner by a country mile is, of course, Obama.

Sheehan: I never said he wasn't dead--I never said he was ever alive. I just know he wasn't killed and buried at sea yesterday, cuz I wasn't born yesteray.

we have a bingo

BOB tell cindy what she has won. Well Cindy you win the immortal collection of Osama's top ten videos of around the CIA camp I mean the world and his audio collection of all his classic poems. Congrats

Sheehan: Hey mother f%#kers--print this!

usa had a hand with Benazir Bhutto's assasination also.. cuz they want to perpetuate the myth, the bogey man called "Osama been lyin".... to suit whatever purposes they want, whether it be fear mongering, or to justify their bogus "War on Terror", one of the biggest hoax in history.

Osama bin Convenient...

Does anybody else suspect that the dinosaur media is putting the final nails in thier coffin by perpetuating this hoax?

its a duh mockery, not democracy.
8 years after may 1st 2003 : mission accomplished banner : is not a coincidence. the system really really wants to remove may day as a holiday.

yes, definitely a Soros and Rothschild connection. one can do a research...