Children, Adults and Gertle The Turtle: Or; We Wouldn't Need To Rally The Base If You People Would Just Pay Attention Year Round

[Above images were both, supposedly, taken in Madison, Wisconsin this past week. They come from news organizations, one the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel via a friend, the other - not the Journal Sentinel. You get to guess which one is which.]

As the epic battle for the future of the labor movement rages on in Wisconsin, it's becoming ever more clear that Gov. Scott Walker, despite any reasoning he may offer concerning budget gaps and austerity measures, is suffering from a glaring messianic complex. At play in the fields of MadTown is not one governor against a stubborn special interest group, he will tell any news network willing to listen, but a Midwestern spark to alight a national fire. What else could explain that non-wavering smile of his, the easy surety with which he dismisses both critics and fact checkers, and the audacity displayed as he downplays his slavering and baseball bat-studded phone conversation with a prankster he took to be one of The Brothers Koch?

In this adroit demonstration of grace under pressure, I suspect Gov. Walker looks not to Ernest Hemingway, the originator of the phrase, nor to fellow crusader George W. Bush, who despite all his mock bravado always tended to resemble the little boy in class nervous he might get called upon to answer a geography question. No, Walker seems to be looking beyond mere mortals and more towards the heavenly constellation of Ronald Reagan, whose influence grows with each passing year even as his particular brand of conservatism falls out of favor with an increasingly radicalized right.

Thus, Walker has seized upon The Gipper's swift dismissal of 11,000 striking air traffic controllers in 1981, which led to the defeat and dismantling of the PATCO trade union. Left out of most discussions concerning this undeniably epochal low point in labor history is both the fact that PATCO went on strike in defiance of a quite specific law banning such actions by government unions (it was law {5 U.S.C. (Supp. III 1956) 118p.}), and the fact that Ronald Reagan was at that time, and remains, the only U.S. President to have ever been a union member. Neither of these observances really changes the overall impact of Reagan's actions, but they at least introduce a slight hint of nuance to the oft-repeated myth of Reagan the Magic Union Buster. But this is no matter to Gov. Walker, one suspects, who has loudly compared himself to the Reagan of 1981, hoping that by showing a firm hand in front of teacher's unions he might better inspire other fiscally conservative governors to rise up with him, transform the labor landscape, and perhaps restrict women's access to basic health care rights while they're at it.

But if Walker really wants his grinning visage to morph in the general public mind into Mr. Reagan, he'll have to do more than simply keep his cool as angry protesters locked outside the Capitol building beat their drums. For one thing, he could have allowed the seething public inside the building (per the general belief that it is the people's house) to witness his budget unveiling, and while raising his voice over the clattering mob, he might even have performed the old ventriloquist routine of taking a sip of water while his sock puppet outlined the ways in which he would institute a 5.5% decrease in per-student public school aid. He might have chosen not to stock the upper seating of the hall with sympathetic out-of-town goons (snuck in, they say, via Secret Republican Tunnels - how awesome is that?) in suits to clap enthusiastically at the announcement of the cessation of mandatory recycling programs. And he could certainly have come up with more creative ways to appear as a benevolent yet firm leader than by issuing vague threats to the staffers of Wisconsin's 14 missing senators.

The above actions and others - including the rumor that Capitol windows were being screwed shut to send a clear message to such meddling agitators as Ian's Pizza that feeding the revolting masses was no longer to be tolerated - might strike some as dictatorial, but I'm in a kind enough mood to find them simply a bit childish. Childish in the same way that FOX News and ace reporter Bill O'Reilly apparently tried to pass off some crowd fight scenes with palm trees in the background as being shot in the cold February streets of central Wisconsin (and they dare call others coastal elites!), and childish in the same way members of the Wisconsin Republican party have chided "outsiders" for inserting themselves into a local matter while welcoming Tea Party members bearing Ron Paul bumper stickers and out-of-state license plates into the assembly hall for support.

Yes, that kind of childishness. I'm afraid I can't work up too much bile over the rumor that the above-mentioned Tea Party members and mysterious men in suits were planted by Gov. Walker in order to create a more welcoming environment for his school project. Misleading and slimy photo-ops and phony staging are the rule of the day among all political stripes, from the Republican Convention cameramen always zooming in on the one African-American woman spotted among the crowd to the planned release of children attending story hour exactly coinciding with a mayoral announcement of cuts to needless library programs. Call it psy-ops if you will, call it propaganda, call it "clapping points,"but it permeates the culture. Far more troubling and insidious, I would argue, is blocking public access to the bill's unveiling simply because a large opposition has been mounted against your actions. It reeks of elitism and is little more than a power grab - not unlike certain aspects of the budget itself.

The announced plan by certain Wisconsin voters to pursue recall action against three highly vulnerable Republican supporters of Walker is a less childish response, but one reserves the right to be wary of recalls as a political alternative. In theory, recalls should serve as extreme measures to correct an unexpected or illegal sequence of affairs - perhaps the discovery of falsified election results or voter suppression, an obvious example of sheer incompetence or blatant corruption, or an inexcusable and unexplained betrayal of a specific and wide-impacting campaign promise. Much as I'd like to claim differently, I'm not sure if Gov. Walker fits any of these criteria, at least not in a bipartisan manner. One could make the argument that by running a campaign promising to force concessions from unions but never mentioning specifically eliminating collective bargaining, Walker has betrayed some of the people who voted for him. But I'd argue that anybody paying attention throughout Walker's race for governor - anybody who knew anything about him as a human being, his core values, and his methods of dealing with those he disagreed with - shouldn't be surprised by his actions. Voter bewilderment when an extreme right-wing candidate behaves like an extreme right-wing politician once they are in office is the reason some of us political junkies think the "undecided voter" mystique is such a goddam load of bullshit.

Still, it would be difficult for me to offer anything other than gentle arguments against any effort to recall Gov. Walker and his GOP minions, although I'd caution the faithful that such recall efforts - surprise surprise - are not free. It's equally difficult for me to pretend that some kind of recall activity might not be in store for the Wisconsin 14 still safely bundled up to the south inside various Illinois motel rooms. While I've come out on record as being firmly in support of the Fab 14, as they're being referred to by various admirers, far be it from me to suggest that any and all voters from the great state of Wisconsin should feel similarly. So when an article on this very matter concerning the recall of GOP senators broke courtesy of the online media organization ThinkProgress, I read it with some interest. But then an individual utilizing the clumsy screen moniker of Ted_Kennedys_SEARCH_AND_RESCUE posted an immediate rebuttal, accusing ThinkProgress of highlighting only one recall possibility. "Genius TP," he wrote. "Mention only the recall petitions concerning Republican Senators, but omit the recall petitions about the Democrat 14. It is why we love TP. It only gives us the news it knows we can handle and/or need".

Now, at the risk of outraging my fellow progressives and the risk of defending a dude who named himself Ted_Kennedys_SEARCH_AND_RESCUE (What? Chappaquidick? Again? Now I know how Republicans feel when they mention George W. Bush and I immediately start yelling "Katrina! Guantanamo!" at them), the individual would seem to have a point. But, no, my brothers and sisters. He would not seem to have a point - not to the discerning online readers of ThinkProgress, who immediately flagged the comment for review and removal, and added their own thoughts to the debate thusly, and in order:

"That is not what the article is about. Get the f*ck out of here"

"Go blow a goat you conservatard!"

"What you don't get enough lies and distortions at Fux OR Rush? Wah!"

I'd argue that pointing out that the recall efforts against the Democratic 14 are being put together by a group of Utah tea party members, while the effort to recall the Republican senators is a homegrown affair, might be a point worth bringing up before one suggests fellating goats. And I've previously come out strong against the growing ubiquity of the loathsome phrase "Tea-Tard" as an epithet for Tea Partiers, not out of any desire to shelter the thin-skinned but in an attempt to remind supposedly adult individuals that nobody over the age of thirteen should be using any variation on the word "retard". Add "conservatard" to that pile, too. I mean, rally the base, by all means. But leave the schoolyard taunts in the detention area.

But in and among the sniping, the hate, the lying, the backstabbing, the moral superiority, the endless links to endless op-ed pieces, the shaky rhetoric, the misspellings, the threats, the ignorance, and the locking voters out of the capitol building, I have managed to find a few rare beams of sunshine - all the more precious for their endangered status. Hope springs eternal.

There was the news that Rep. Nick Milroy, D-South Range, 73rd Assembly District, moved his entire desk set and other pieces of office furniture onto the frozen lawn via office windows so he could meet with his constituents, locked out of the people's house by Gov. Walker. Underneath Rep. Milroy's name was taped a handmade sign reading "Open For Business". Bundled up with a hat and jacket, he placed his telephone on the adjacent windowsill to continue making calls while chatting with several supporters from Superior who made the trip to Madison but were barred entry along with nearly everybody else.

There was also an excellent, lengthy, and ultimately very moving report by Ben Bradford on the cultural scene coalescing around the thousands of protesters in Madison. Bradford is at great pains to portray this group of people as an authentic grass-roots effort, but also is at great pains to highlight what makes this group of dissenters especially notable - their positivity, their intelligence, their good humor, and their common human decency. While other news organizations and politicians try to smear this effort as the actions of bums skipping out on work or disrespectful hooligans, Bradford calmly insists that what has been occurring in Madison for the past two weeks is something that both sides of the issue should feel some pride in - a massive gathering of angry individuals who have been respectful of property and individual rights. No matter whether this battle is won or lost - and it doesn't look good - I'd like to think that the rest of the country has been granted a special glimpse into our state and the amazing people who populate it. And while the decent moral fiber of our citizens is something all of us Wisconsinites, past and present, have always been aware of, it's good to share with the rest of the country. I've never been prouder to call myself a Badger.

Another glimmer came in the guise of a 1958 book by Dr. Seuss, my favorite youth-oriented stealth liberal next to Fred Rogers. For those unfamiliar with the plot of Yertle The Turtle - well, no matter. What does matter is the following line of poetry, plucked from its pages by more than one youth lit-loving individual :

I know, you up on top are seeing great sights,

But down here at the bottom,

We, too, should have rights

And finally, there was the onsite photograph sent to me via email by an old friend who made the trek from Milwaukee to Madison to take part in the protest. His analysis of the situation would make for good reading, but I'm tempted merely to let the below photograph speak for itself, because in its simplicity, wit, and healthy sense of the absurd, it encapsulates for me the many reasons why I will always dance to the revolution if it's thrown by some fellow Midwesterners.

Yes, that's the greatest comedian of our pathetic era, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. "This Bill Is Great..." he offers. "For Me To Poop On!"

Juvenile? Childish? Yeah. It would hardly be Triumph The Insult Comic Dog if it wasn't. But I'd posit it's a good deal less juvenile than locking people out of buildings, stacking the deck with dozens of of your suit-besotted best friends for support, faking news footage to prove a point, or using the term "conservatard". And as soon as you children are finished screwing windows shut and calling each other names, the adults in the room have some business they'd like to attend to. And yes, it might involve discussing a recall.